Thursday, December 2, 2010


There are lots of love stories ,which has been great legend to us.. Romeo and Juliet perhaps is one of it….what are the stance of Islam for LOVE?

There is a difference between love and romance. Romance, if not checked, may mean wasting time, effort and dignity. Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Besides, the concept of love in Islam is very unique, when a Muslim loves something or somebody, it must be for the sake of Allah; the same applies to hatred. Islam teaches us that marriage is the finest, purest and permissible relationship that should exist between a male and female; it should be the goal that they both have in mind. There is no room in Islam for illicit affairs or the Western vogue-word of boyfriend and girlfriend. All those stories of media and movies are not helpful to make a person comply with the teachings of Islam. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says: "Three qualities, if found in a person, will help him have perfect faith: Having Allah and His Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, as the most beloved ones, loving a person only for the sake of Allah and hating getting back to Kufr (disbelief) the way one hates to be thrown into fire." That means love is a fruit of piety. Love without piety is mischief.

There is no concept of courtship in Islam as it is practiced in the West. There is no dating or living in de facto relationship or trying each other out before committing to each other. There is to be no physical relationship whatsoever before marriage. The romantic notions that occupy the mind of young people often have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the West to understand this point. To give an example, the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on. Yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. Romance and love simply do not result in an everlasting bond between two people.
In most cases, romance and love die out very quickly when couple find themselves with the real world. The unrealistic expectation that young people have is what often contributes to the failure of their relationship.

The West makes fun of the Islamic way of marriage, in particular arranged marriage. Yet, the irony is that statistically arranged marriages prove to be more successful and lasting than romantic types of courtship. This is because people are blinded by the physical attraction and thus do not choose the compatible partner. Love blinds people to the extent of overlooking potential problems in the relationship. There is an Arabic proverb that says: "Love is blind, it makes zucchini turn into okra". Arranged marriages, on the other hand, are based not on physical attraction or romantic notions, but rather on critical evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why such marriage often proves successful.

From an Islamic perspective, in choosing a partner, the most important factor that should be taken into consideration is Taqwa (piety and consciousness of Allah). The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, recommended the suitors to see each other before going through with marriage procedures. That is very important because it is unreasonable for two people to be thrown into marriage and be expected to have a successful marital life, full of love and affection, when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each other.

This ruling does not contradict the Qur'anic verse that says, “…believing men and women should lower their gaze” (An-Nur: 30). The couple, however, are not permitted to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone. As the Hadith says: "When a man and a woman are together alone, the Shaytan (Satan) makes their third." One of the conditions of a valid marriage is the consent of the couple. Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people. The choice of a partner by a Muslim virgin girl is subject to the approval of the father or guardian. This is to safeguard her welfare and interests. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "The widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until she has consented to that and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is sought." The Prophet did nullify the marriage of a girl who complained to him that her father had married her against her wishes.

Though love is something nice, and it is recommended for a man to marry a woman whom he loves, because the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.” (Sahih Al-Jami`, 5200) However, this love should not be overwhelming and cause a person to forget other characteristics which he should look for in the person he wants to marry. The most important characteristic is religious commitment. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, says: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her commitment to religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” (Agreed-upon Hadith).

Now, let’s assume that you are the subject of the hypothesis you draw in your question: On what basis would you like to choose your partner? Wouldn’t you look to her commitment to Islam – does she pray regularly, for example? Does she adhere to the Islamic Hijab prescribed by Shari'ah?

If the lady you want to marry is religious, of good manners, and obeys Allah and His Messenger, and both of you want to please Allah in this world in order to earn reward in the Hereafter, then you have made a perfect choice, and we ask Allah to fulfill your hopes and bring you together in a good way. If she is not, then you should reconsider your choice. May Allah help you to do what He loves and what pleases Him!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Widaad and Wafa'

Widaad Ibtisam = 28 months

She may be able to control her actions, but not always her emotions. At this age, she's still prone to a fair amount of pushing, shoving, yelling, and tantrums. And as parents, we never set our standards too high. Let her explore and learn from her own experience, in fact that will be a good teacher for her. With the company of her lil sis, Wafa' she has high sensitivity of being a "big sis". Behaving like she knows which food is hot, and giving instructions to her adik when lunch time is good sign for us. Even though sometimes she means 'hot' to cold drinks! However,we can't expect perfect behaviour from her all the time, and tantrums are her way of showing you when she's so frustrated or upset she can't think straight any more.

Amal Wafa' = 14 months

This little toddler is mastering new skills left and right these days, from waving bye-bye to drinking from a cup. But one thing she probably hasn't got to grips with yet is adult table manners. That's OK :) it's too early for her to understand or manage this kind of politeness. She is now yet to learn the "woman's handy manners". Very keen of "tidying up" rooms, kitchens and bookshelves....%!@##(&$^#^%&^$.....It's ok dear...go and learn!! have fun as one day you'll be good in the real tidying up the whole home with your TATAK ( that's how she called her kakak ).

Anger Management

This article has nothing to do with anyone, it's just a gentle reminder to me myself, and also to all of us....sharing is caring...I LOVE YOU ALL....

Some people may have control on their emotions. But to some people, they easily fail to do so..
The Prophet PBUH once said “ Hold your anger, and you’ll be in Heaven”

When a person is in a state of anger or rage he or she can unleash behavior which can be very aggressive or violent. Acting in a state of anger is similar to acting in a state of intoxication. In both cases, people do not know what they are doing and, as a result, may hurt themselves as well as others. Then, when the anger or intoxication subsides, remorse over those actions will almost certainly ensue.

Sheikh Hasan Al-Basri said that one of the signs of believers is that anger does not prevail over them.

The Prophet once asked his Companions, "Whom among you do you consider a strong man?" They replied, “The one who can defeat so-and-so in a wrestling contest.” He said, “That is not so; a strong man is the one who can control himself when he is angry" (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


There is no way to totally eliminate anger from one's self, for it is a natural human emotion and is bound to be one's reaction to certain situations that we all face in life. Anger can be controlled, however, and to achieve this, a Muslim has to observe the following tips:

1.Change the position of your body. For example, if you are standing, sit down; and if you are sitting, lie down.

2. Make ablution and offer two rak`ahs

3. Remember the rewards and virtues of patience, mercy, and forgiveness.

Anger, if left uncontrolled or unmanaged, can be a costly weed. It is detrimental to one’s health and relationships with others…friends, family and working environments. In fact, it may cause a great loss in this world and even a greater loss in the hereafter. Therefore, this weed must be kept under one’s control in order to allow the healthy plant of righteousness, piety, and obedience to grow.
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