Hope to The Only Allah

I am today 34 weeks ( 8 months plus). By this time, I always have this Braxton Hicks, which is a sporadic uterine contractions. In the days or weeks before labor, Braxton Hicks contractions may intermittently become rhythmic, relatively close together, and even painful, possibly fooling you into thinking you're in labor. But unlike true labor, during this so-called false labor the contractions don't grow consistently longer, stronger, and closer together......The painful that I have experienced, God knows. I sometimes can't sleep well because of this symptom.

Nevertheless, hubby helps alot. He's the one who take care of Widad throughout the night, wake up to prepare milk for her, change diapers when she's wet and manage most of the household chores. Alhamdulillah...tahmid to Allah.

Me myself, I believe I am more sensitive, down and hopeless at the moment.With the increasing weight now, sometimes make very unhappy. I am big,my stomach is receiving more and more strechmark, lots of dark area at my body, everything make my appearance very ugly, I believe. Especially when people around keep telling, "you look big!", "ouhh...this time your stomach is bigger!" all those words which actually does not mean to hurt my feelings, indeed give some impact. I don't know. !@&*($^&@%^&* ..ooo Allah, guide me towards the real path.

The fear of giving birth always appear uninvitedly. I am really scared if I would have the same experience like I was delivering Widad. Goodness...the phobia is still in the air.Every single moment in the labor room is still fresh and green in my mind. Giving birth without husband to support me, lack of bed in the labor room, the painn....Allahu Akbar!!!

The best I could do is to munajat to the only Allah, He gives the best to us. We, as human being..just plan, He's the one who decide everything, and all His decisions, are the best. It's just that we might not see the hidden beauty behind His fate yet.

I leave everything to Allah. InsyaAllah...victory will be mine:)